Wednesday, January 11, 2012

settling in between

Because there is a stack of boxes I need to break down and take outside, but there's a puppy who likes to snuggle on the couch before I leave him for work.

I think sometimes about the ability to do everything you need to do in a day, and the fact that it rarely gets accomplished. I can't remember the last time I made a list of things to do for the day or the week and actually crossed off everything on time. Generally, it's more like a wish list.

"things I wish I would have the energy to do after getting home from work."

Another area I settle in between is in my relationship, but it's not what you think. I am settled in between feeling safe and happy. My boyfriend makes me feel loved.

This is a new statement. I roll it over in my mind a few times every hour. This man thinks hard about presents and gives me a cooking school lesson - because one time he "remembered you saying it was on your bucket list. right?" and a whittled heart. Because it's his new hobby and the first project was for me.

I roll it over in my head but I don't think too hard. I'm scared to hold on to tight to these thoughts, scared my usual thought process will squelch the happiness. It's a thought I taste twice an hour, let it pass through, smile and go on to work or laundry or dishes.

But it's such a thought to have. It's such a nice place to rest.

If you can give yourself to someone, than you should.

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